RABBI SCHWARTZ'S HAPPY JOKES OF THE WEEK Why was the mortgage so upset? Because it was a loan Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them! Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. Berkowitz was in the best hospital in Long Island and was moaning the whole time, finally he was transferred to a crummy hospital in Brooklyn, happy as anything, they ask him what the problem was before, he said before I had nothing to complain about ... HERE I CAN COMPLAIN!!!! Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so. Wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember, but to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave Hetty a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to his proposal. "Oh", Hetty said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was." At his 103rd birthday party, Zadie Herman Rosenbaum was asked by his great grandson Shmueli if he planned to be around for his 104th. "I certainly do Shmueli," Zadie Herman replied. "As a matter of fact, statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104." |