| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE SLAVE JOKES OF THE WEEK What did the slaves owners use to purchase their slaves? A MasterCard. Why did the slave go to college? To pick up his master's degree. What does a slave driver do with his slaves when he's bored? He racism. God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed. God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again. God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. I believe slaves should have gotten reparations 150 years ago. I don't believe their descendants should get them. That ship has sailed. What do you call the underground slave trade? The black market. Did you hear about the Mexican slave trade? Wasn't a big deal at all, 'Til they offered buy Juan, get Juan free. I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery. None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea. How did the Egyptians trick their slaves into working so hard? With a pyramid scheme. A black slave escaped with a wheel of cheese. The owner was being interviewed by southern law enforcement where he asked: "will you be able to find him?" Which the officer replied: Can't say but one things for sure, he Nacho Negro. An Egyptian task master fell down a wishing well, The Jewish slave was amazed, " Cool! I never knew they worked." | 
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