| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE FAT FITTING JOKES OF THE WEEK You can go from fat to fit…With one good vowel movement…. Oy…
After years of dieting, I found there was only one way to look thin: Hang out with fat people.
Why do obese Romans prefer loose clothes? Because in Roman Numerals L is bigger than XL.
What French word have all fat Americans learned at an early age? Buffet.
What is the name for an overeating bee? Chub-bee.
What do you call a bee that can't control their eating? O-bees.
What do you call a fat person who can tell the future? A four-chin teller
Congratulations on deciding on your weight loss surgery. You have a lot of guts.
Chana tells her doctor she can't help being overweight. Her parents, siblings and children are all overweight because it runs in the family. The doctor responds by saying "I seriously doubt anyone is running in your family."
It's not food that fat shames me, it's the voice activated scale! Don't tease fat people, they already have too much on their plate. It's called the One Month diet. In the end you are sure to lose 30 days. Why did the obese man give up on his diet? He was thick and tired of it. Where do they take fat people who try to escape from exercising? The Fitness Protection Program. It's better to never tell jokes about fat people. They never work out. Why aren't fat jokes socially acceptable? It's never nice to make fun at anyone's expanse. I went to the doctor's today and when I walked in, she said, "I'm sorry about your wait." I said, "So am I but it's okay, I've been fat all my life." Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself…A piece of cake. I'm not saying I was fat but if I had to name the 5 fattest people I know, I would've been 3 of them. That awkward moment when a fat kid says, "That's how I roll." My boyfriend hates it when I make jokes about his weight. He needs to lighten up. Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. My wife told me nothing shocks her any more. So I switched her digital scale from pounds to kilograms. A guy is standing on the bathroom scales desperately sucking in his stomach. "That's not going to help," says his wife. "Yes ,it will," replies the man. "It's the only way I can see the numbers!" My New Years resolution was to lose 20 pounds this year. Only 26 to go. I love you loads, honeypie." My wife said to me earlier. I replied, "And I love you tons." "What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed. Sometimes I swear she's going deaf. What's the difference between a compulsive person and a fat person? One has OCD and the other has OBCD I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day. I'm tired of being fat every day.
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