Everybody wants spirituality. To be a good person means to walk in G-d's ways. How does that translate to reality? The only guidebook to spirituality that has stood the test of time is the Hebrew Bible. The Bible says that the Jews will be a light onto the nations. But if you are not a born Jew, you have to convert, which is not so easy!! If you do convert, it is a lot of work to be a Jew (three times a day prayer, keeping kosher, observing the Sabbath).
This blog will show you how to be Jewish without the work!!
Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher, and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money, and spiritual engagement.
The Three are Rabbi Yehuda Glick, famous temple mount activist, and former Israel Mk, and then Robert Weinger, the world's greatest shofar blower and seller of Shofars, and myself after we had gone to the 12 gates of the Temple Mount in 2020 to blow the shofar to ask G-d to heal the world from the Pandemic. It was a highlight to my experience in living in Israel and I put it on my blog each day to remember.
The articles that I include each day are those that I find interesting, so I feel you will find them interesting as well. I don't always agree with all the points of each article but found them interesting or important to share with you, my readers, and friends. It is cathartic for me to share my thoughts and frustrations with you about life in general and in Israel. As a Rabbi, I try to teach and share the Torah of the G-d of Israel as a modern Orthodox Rabbi. I never intend to offend anyone but sometimes people are offended and I apologize in advance for any mistakes. The most important psychological principle I have learned is that once someone's mind is made up, they don't want to be bothered with the facts, so, like Rabbi Akiva, I drip water (Torah is compared to water) on their made-up minds and hope that some of what I have share sinks in. Love Rabbi Yehuda Lave.
Who needs antisemites-we have the former head of the ADL abandoning Israel becasue of a Democratic election
Abe Foxman: If Smotrich and Ben-Gvir get their way, Israel will lose me and American Jews
Dementia, Alzheimer's, and cognitive decline are some of the scariest facets of old age. While these illnesses may not trouble the younger minds, it will be wise to take them into consideration starting from an early age, as prevention is much easier and much more achievable than trying to ease symptoms after diagnosis. While research is ever evolving, there's sadly still no final cure for these conditions, which are currently considered irreversible. But a recent study, linking muscle mass to cognitive decline, may be a good reason for some optimism and a sense of control over our cognitive health.
Study results Like In this study, researchers set out to find whether having low muscle mass could predict cognitive decline in three fields: memory, executive function, and psychomotor speed (speed of thought). The study was conducted on 8,000 adults aged 65 years and older. Interestingly, the researchers found that low muscle mass only affects executive cognitive functions. "Low muscle strength has been recently associated with greater risk of dementia," says lead author Stephanie Chevalier. Executive cognitive functions are important to our daily lives, and are mainly responsible for our attention span, the way we organize our thoughts, and when we make decisions, helping us in Different daily tasks such as shopping.
Why we should be happy about it Like Muscle mass is a modifiable factor, meaning we have the power to alter it ourselves. In other words, we may now have the power in our hands to decrease the risk of developing a decline in executive cognitive functions. Revealing the connection between a low muscle math and cognitive decline can also assist as a measuring tool to help doctors identify people who have a greater risk of cognitive decline. However, it is important to emphasize that cognitive decline is only associated with muscle mass, and not muscle strength or physical activity level. Chevalier recommends "exercise - particularly resistance exercise - and good nutrition with sufficient protein to help maintain muscle mass over the years. But as always with science, new findings are always shadowed by what we still don't know. And in this case, researchers are still not certain whether a low muscle mass is a sign or cause of executive cognitive decline. How everything connects Like Another related study has found that lower hand grip strength is tied to an increased risk of dementia. Each 11-pound reduction in grip strength was associated with an 18% greater chance of cognitive decline, according to the study. We recently discussed low hand grip strength as a measure of muscle loss that affects dementia.
It is important to note though, that further studies are needed since grip strength is associated both with the muscular system and the neural system. It's not likely to be enough to make predictions about cognitive decline, but one thing is for sure - physical fitness is a viable way to reduce Alzheimer's and dementia risk.
Although this story doesn't cover Kosher wine issues, the types of wine are similar with similar qualities
Wine is not just a drink - it's a lifestyle, a look into history, a gastronomic adventure, a study into farming, and a fantastic way to explore different cultures. But with so many different angles to approach wine, where do you begin? Thankfully, there are only a few basic techniques to learn, as well as a little knowledge of common wine. With just a little practice, you'll be over the hump of a rudimentary wine "dabbler," and move on to becoming an outstanding connoisseur that's capable of ordering wine like a pro. The "wine for beginners" infographic below has all the answers to your questions. It'll teach you all about the different wine styles, wine glasses, and tips on tasting wine like a wine connoisseur:
Wine Basics Wine Styles As there are over 1,300 types of wine out there, it's best to start with the basics. In the chart above, you'll discover the most popular high-quality wine varieties all arranged by color. Wine Glasses Which glass should you use for a Chardonnay, Cabernet Sauvignon, or Pinot Noir? Above, we start you off with the basics. Secrets to Reading Wine Labels On U.S. wine labels, the word "Reserve" doesn't mean anything, but there are a few tips you can learn. For example, the alcohol level says a lot about the style of wine and the vintage tells you a lot about the quality. Calories in Wine Even though alcoholic beverages aren't required to list calories, this doesn't mean that they are calorie-free.
Learn about the calories of common wines such as Cabernet Sauvignon, Moscato, Pinot Gris, and Pinot Noir. Wine and Food Pairing The information above will inspire wine pairing with common dishes you'll enjoy at home. Common Bottle Shapes Did you know that Pinot Noir, Grenache, and Syrah are almost always bottled in a more feminine style low-shoulder bottle? Also, Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon are mostly bottled in a masculine high-shoulder bottle. Knowing these facts can help you identify what's inside the bottle when the variety is not listed.
Shufersal opens Israel's first shop-and-go grocery store in Tel Aviv
Israeli startup Trigo powers frictionless shopping tech at centrally located shop in city where patrons can select items and simply walk out, skipping the checkout line
After Britain, Germany, the US and the Netherlands, Israel is getting its first grab-and-go, checkout-free grocery store in Tel Aviv, powered by shopping technology developed by Israeli company Trigo.
Israel's largest supermarket chain Shufersal has been piloting Trigo's tech for several years and announced on Thursday that it opened its first automated supermarket store on Mendele Street in central Tel Aviv where shoppers can walk in, select their items and walk out without having to stand in the checkout line or fiddle with self-checkout stands. Payments and receipts are handled digitally.
To do this, Trigo applies its proprietary algorithms to ceiling-mounted cameras that can automatically track shoppers' movements and product choices in the store in real time.
Trigo's checkout-free shopping tech is already operational at a Tesco grocery store in London, REWE shops in Berlin and Cologne, a Netto City store in Munich and an Aldi Nord in the central Dutch city of Utrecht. The company made its first foray into the US earlier this year with a pilot scheme at a Wakefern New Jersey store. Wakefern Food Corp is the largest retailer-owned cooperative in the US.
Tesco, REWE and Aldi Nord are grocery heavyweights in the UK and across Europe. Aldi Nord, a division of German-owned supermarket chain Aldi, is considered the largest grocery retailer on the continent and also operates Trader Joe's markets in the US.
But the Trigo-powered Shufersal store in Tel Aviv is a standout in that it "packs in more goods per square foot than any other Trigo-powered store," said Trigo co-founder and CEO Michael Gabay in a company statement.
The 1,080 square-foot Shufersal Express Shop&Go store "is unique in the field of autonomous stores with a wide range of products and will provide customers with an autonomous shopping experience that has never been seen before in Israel," he wrote in a LinkedIn post following the announcement.
Shufersal, he added in the statement, "was the first company to believe in our vision and played a key role in the evolution of our product."
Supermarket and retail giants worldwide are scrambling to offer new consumer experiences and conveniences — so-called frictionless shopping — amid fierce competition, razor-thin margins in the grocery space, supply chain management issues and the continued expansion of Amazon into the grocery retail business.
The commerce giant offers its 'Go' and 'Just Walk Out' shopping experiences at over 30 physical Amazon Go and Amazon Fresh locations in the US and the UK, where shoppers also walk in and walk out with their items, while skipping the checkout process.
But whereas Amazon has to build custom-made stores for its tech, Trigo works with retailers that already have the infrastructure in place, giving the Israeli company an edge.
Trigo specializes in retrofitting existing spaces, allowing retailers to keep their unique character and layout while turning them into fully autonomous, digital stores.
"Physical retail is the one space where traditional businesses can take on Amazon and win. The chains we're working with have thousands of existing stores, Amazon has to build new stores," said Gabay, who founded Trigo in 2018 with his brother Daniel.
Carrefour and 7-Eleven are set to open hundreds of stores between them in the next few years..
Einstein Papers Project
The Einstein Papers Project (EPP) produces the historical edition of the writings and correspondence of Albert Einstein. The EPP collects, transcribes, translates, annotates, and publishes materials from Einstein's literary estate and a multitude of other repositories, which hold Einstein-related historical sources. The staff of the project is an international collaborative group of scholars, editors, researchers, and administrators working on the ongoing authoritative edition, The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein (CPAE).
The EPP was established by Princeton University Press (PUP) in 1977 at the Institute for Advanced Study. The founding editor of the project was professor of physics John Stachel. In 1984, the project moved from Princeton to Stachel's home institution, Boston University. The first volume of the CPAE was published by PUP in 1987. The following year, historian of science Martin J. Klein of Yale University was appointed senior editor of the project. Volumes 1-6 and 8 of the series were completed during the project's time in Boston.
In 2000, professor of history Diana Kormos-Buchwald was appointed general editor and director of the EPP and established offices for the project at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech) In Pasadena, California. Volumes 7 and 9-16 of the CPAE have been completed since the project's move to Caltech. (Volume 11 in the series is a comprehensive index and bibliography to Volumes 1-10).
The CPAE volumes include Einstein's books, his published and unpublished scientific and non-scientific articles, his lecture and research notebooks, travel diaries, book reviews, appeals, and reliable records of his lectures, speeches, interviews with the press, and other oral statements. The volumes also include his professional, personal, and political correspondence. Each annotated volume, referred to as the documentary edition, presents full text documents in their original language, primarily German. Introductions, endnotes, texts selected for inclusion as abstracts, etc. are in English. Volume 16 of the CPAE is the most recent publication in the series; the first sixteen volumes cover Einstein's life up to May 1929. PUP publishes the series. With each documentary edition, the EPP simultaneously publishes a companion English translation volume.
The EPP collaborates with the Albert Einstein Archives at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. In his last will and testament, Einstein bequeathed his literary estate and his personal papers to the Hebrew University. The project and the archives maintain and update a shared archival database of 90,000+ records, freely accessible online. Support for the project comes from PUP, endowments from individuals and universities, the National Science Foundation, and the National Endowment for the Humanities.
In late 2014, the EPP and PUP launched The Digital Einstein Papers.[1] The website presents the complete contents of The Collected Papers of Albert Einstein, Volumes 1-15. The project volumes are reproduced online as fully searchable PDFs. All documents and endnotes are linked to provide seamless transitions between the original language documentary edition and English translations. Subsequent volumes will be added to the website approximately eighteen months after their release in print. It is projected that there will be thirty volumes in the series. Eventually, the Digital Einstein Papers website will provide access to all of Einstein's writings and correspondence accompanied by scholarly annotation and apparatus.
Albert Einstein.
The Early Years: 1879-1902 is the first volume in the series.
The Swiss Years: 1900-1914 and The Berlin Years: 1914-1929 followed through volume 16 in two parallel and extensively cross-referenced branches:
Writings: published and previously unpublished articles, lecture notes, research notes, accounts of his lectures, speeches, interviews, book reviews, etc.
Correspondence: letters, travel diaries, calendars, documents about Einstein by third parties, etc
Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto.
Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher, and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money, and spiritual engagement.
The Three are Rabbi Yehuda Glick, famous temple mount activist, and former Israel Mk, and then Robert Weinger, the world's greatest shofar blower and seller of Shofars, and myself after we had gone to the 12 gates of the Temple Mount in 2020 to blow the shofar to ask G-d to heal the world from the Pandemic. It was a highlight to my experience in living in Israel and I put it on my blog each day to remember.
The articles that I include each day are those that I find interesting, so I feel you will find them interesting as well. I don't always agree with all the points of each article but found them interesting or important to share with you, my readers, and friends. It is cathartic for me to share my thoughts and frustrations with you about life in general and in Israel. As a Rabbi, I try to teach and share the Torah of the G-d of Israel as a modern Orthodox Rabbi. I never intend to offend anyone but sometimes people are offended and I apologize in advance for any mistakes. The most important psychological principle I have learned is that once someone's mind is made up, they don't want to be bothered with the facts, so, like Rabbi Akiva, I drip water (Torah is compared to water) on their made-up minds and hope that some of what I have share sinks in. Love Rabbi Yehuda Lave.
Jacob flees from the wrath of his brother Esau and arrives in Haran. In compensation for the 14 years of labor in Laban's home he marries Laban's two daughters, Leah and Rachel. The letter "heh", symbolizing G-d's name, is found in the names of three of our matriarchs: Sarah, Rivkah and Leah. The letter "heh", testifying to G-d's presence, is not found in the name of our fourth matriarch, Rachel. The "missing 'heh'" appears in the unusual spelling of her son Joseph's name as it appears in Psalm 81;6 ("He appointed it in Joseph for a testimony") where Yosef is spelled with a "heh".
The Midrash states: There are three people who fled from sin and G-d added His name to theirs: Joseph, Yael and Palti. How do we know that Joseph is one of them? Psalm 81;6 ("He appointed it in Joseph for a testimony"). The unusual "heh" testifies that Joseph did not sin with Potifar's wife. (Vayikra Raba {Margaliyot} Acharei Mot portion 23)
All of this is alluded to in the extra crowns atop the letter "heh" in the word "yaldah" (gave birth) in the verse "and it came to pass that when Rachel gave birth to Joseph…"(Genesis 30;25)
Artemis-1 Moon Mission to Launch with Israeli Manikins, Anti-Radiation Vest
Israeli manikins Helga and Zohar will test the efficacy of Israel's StemRad anti-radiation vest.
NASA plans to launch its Artemis 1 mission to the moon on Monday (Aug. 29) from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, carrying equipment for an experiment to test the radiation protection of the Israeli AstroRad vest.
In addition, the spacecraft will be carrying a mezuzah, a stone from the Dead Sea, and seeds for a tree to be planted in Israel after the spacecraft returns to Earth.
"The Israeli space industry proves once again how significant and influential Israel is in the field of space, and how important it is to continue investing in this field," Hila Hadad Hamelnik, director-general of the Ministry of Innovation, Science and Technology said in a statement.
"The Israeli Space Agency in the Ministry of Innovation and Science succeeded, thanks to Israel's special relations with the USA and with NASA, in promoting this important experiment, the success of which will provide an important solution without which humanity will not be able to reach the moon and beyond.
"The promise embodied in the Israeli technology developed by StemRad may give astronauts the Israel's unique contribution to radiation protection in space, and to pave the way for more Israeli space companies."
The flight is scheduled for lift-off at 8:33 am Eastern Time, with solid rocket booster separation timed to take place two minutes and 12 seconds later.
The mission is set to return to Earth 43 days later with entry and splashdown expected at 11:53 am.
Zohar and Helga The experimental manikins "Zohar" and "Helga" will be used to test the radiation protection vest developed by the Israeli startup company StemRad in a joint experiment by the Israeli Space Agency with its German counterpart in partnership with NASA and with the assistance of Lockheed Martin. Zohar will wear a radiation protection vest, called AstroRad, while Helga will not.
The two manikins are manufactured from materials that mimic human bone, soft tissue and the organs of an adult female; female forms were chosen because women have greater sensitivity to the effects of space radiation.
Zohar will be wearing the StemRad radiation vest, and Helga will not. Both manikins will be fitted with more than 5,600 passive sensors and 34 active radiation detectors to measure radiation exposure as part of the Matroshka AstroRad Radiation Experiment (MARE), an international effort including the German Aerospace Center, the Israel Space Agency, and NASA.
The study will provide valuable data on radiation levels astronauts may encounter on lunar missions and evaluate the effectiveness of the protective vest that could allow crew to exit the storm shelter and continue working on critical mission activities in spite of a solar storm.
Radiation Area Monitor (RAM) Radiation sensor technology aboard the spacecraft includes six Radiation Area Monitor (RAM) passive detectors about the size of a matchbox that will record the total radiation dose during the mission.
As passive instruments, they require no source of power to collect radiation dose information and will be analyzed after the flight.
CubeSats Small, low-cost science and technology experiments called CubeSats will deploy into deep space from the Orion stage adapter attached to the ICPS.
These CubeSats are not much larger than a shoebox, weigh about 25 pounds (11 kilograms) each, and contain science and technology that may help pave the way for future human exploration in deep space.
International space agency partners and universities are involved with several of the CubeSats, including those from around the United States, and Japan.
Manikin "Commander Moonikin Campos" will also be aboard the Artemis 1 moon mission.
'Commander Moonikin Campos' A suited manikin named Commander Moonikin Campos will occupy the commander's seat inside Orion to provide data on what crew members may experience in flight.
The manikin's seat will be outfitted with two sensors – one under the headrest and another behind the seat – to record acceleration and vibration throughout the mission.
Five additional accelerometers inside Orion will provide data to compare vibration and acceleration between the upper and lower seats.
The Orion Crew Survival System suit – a spacesuit astronauts will wear during launch, entry, and other dynamic phases of their missions – worn by the manikin will also be equipped with two radiation sensors.
Biology Investigations Orion will also carry a payload called Biological Experiment-01 containing four space biology investigations.
These investigations will look at the effects of the deep space environment on the nutritional value of seeds, DNA repair of fungi, adaptation of yeast, and gene expression of algae during the journey around the Moon.
The experiments will take place inside a container stored within Orion's crew module for the duration of Artemis I and will be returned to researchers for post-flight analyses after the spacecraft splashes down.
The fundamental knowledge gained from these investigations will help us learn how we can better thrive in deep space, for future missions to the Moon and Mars.
Callisto Partnership: Lockheed Martin, Amazon, Cisco Callisto is a technology demonstration developed through a reimbursable space act agreement with Lockheed Martin.
Lockheed Martin has partnered with Amazon, and Cisco to bring the Alexa digital assistant and Webex video collaboration aboard Orion's first flight test in deep space.
Named after a mythological Greek goddess and one of Artemis' hunting attendants, Callisto is meant to show how commercial technology could assist future astronauts on deep space missions.
The payload will demonstrate how astronauts and flight controllers can use human-machine interface technology to make their jobs simpler, safer and more efficient, and advance human exploration in deep space.
The industry-funded payload will be located on Orion's center console and includes a tablet that will test Webex by Cisco video conferencing software, to transmit video and audio from the Mission Control Center at Johnson.
Custom-built hardware and software by Lockheed Martin and Amazon will also test Alexa, Amazon's voice-based virtual assistant, to respond to the transmitted audio.
Vienna & Hebrew Universities Develop Perfect Trap for Light
The light trap
Whether in photosynthesis or a photovoltaic system, if you want to use light efficiently, you have to absorb it as completely as possible. However, this is difficult if the absorption is to take place in a thin layer of material that normally lets a large part of the light pass through.
Now, research teams from TU Wien and The Hebrew University of Jerusalem have found a surprising trick that allows a beam of light to be completely absorbed even in the thinnest of layers: they built a "light trap" around the thin layer using mirrors and lenses, in which the light beam is steered in a circle and then superimposed on itself – exactly in such a way that the beam of light blocks itself and can no longer leave the system. Thus, the light has no choice but to be absorbed by the thin layer – there is no other way out.
This absorption-amplification method, which has now been presented in the scientific journal Science (Massively degenerate coherent perfect absorber for arbitrary wavefronts), is the result of a fruitful collaboration between the two teams: the approach was suggested by Prof. Ori Katz from The Hebrew University of Jerusalem and conceptualized with Prof. Stefan Rotter from TU Wien; the experiment was carried out in by the lab team in Jerusalem and the theoretical calculations came from the team in Vienna.
"Absorbing light is easy when it hits a solid object," shared Prof. Stefan Rotter from the Institute of Theoretical Physics at TU Wien. "A thick black wool jumper can easily absorb light. But in many technical applications, you only have a thin layer of material available and you want the light to be absorbed exactly in this layer."
There have already been attempts to improve the absorption of materials: For example, the material can be placed between two mirrors. The light is reflected back and forth between the two mirrors, passing through the material each time and thus having a greater chance of being absorbed. However, for this purpose, the mirrors must not be perfect – one of them must be partially transparent, otherwise, the light cannot penetrate the area between the two mirrors at all. But this also means that whenever the light hits this partially transparent mirror, some of the light is lost.
To prevent this, it is possible to use the wave properties of light in a sophisticated way. "In our approach, we are able to cancel all back-reflections by wave interference", noted HU's Prof. Ori Katz. Helmut Hörner, from TU Wien, who dedicated his thesis to this topic explained, "in our method, too, the light first falls on a partially transparent mirror. If you simply send a laser beam onto this mirror, it is split into two parts: The larger part is reflected, a smaller part penetrates the mirror."
This part of the light beam that penetrates the mirror is now sent through the absorbing material layer and then returned to the partially transparent mirror with lenses and another mirror. "The crucial thing is that the length of this path and the position of the optical elements are adjusted in such a way that the returning light beam (and its multiple reflections between the mirrors) exactly cancels out the light beam reflected directly at the first mirror", said Yevgeny Slobodkin and Gil Weinberg, HU graduate students who built the system in Jerusalem.
The two partial beams overlap in such a way that the light blocks itself, so to speak: although the partially transparent mirror alone would actually reflect a large part of the light, this reflection is rendered impossible by the other part of the beam traveling through the system before returning to the partially transparent mirror.
Therefore, the mirror, which used to be partially transparent, now becomes completely transparent for the incident laser beam. This creates a one-way street for the light: the light beam can enter the system, but then it can no longer escape because of the superposition of the reflected portion and the portion guided through the system in a circle. So the light has no choice but to be absorbed – the entire laser beam is swallowed up by a thin layer that would otherwise allow most of the beam to pass through.
"The system has to be tuned exactly to the wavelength you want to absorb," explained Rotter. "But apart from that, there are no limiting requirements. The laser beam doesn't have to have a specific shape, it can be more intense in some places than in others – almost perfect absorption is always achieved."
Not even air turbulence and temperature fluctuations can harm the mechanism, as was shown in experiments conducted at The Hebrew University in Jerusalem. This proves that it is a robust effect that promises a wide range of applications – for example, the presented mechanism could even be well suited to perfectly capturing light signals that are distorted during transmission through the Earth's atmosphere. The new approach could also be of great practical use for optimally feeding light waves from weak light sources (such as distant stars) into a detector.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE GRATITUDE JOKES OF THE WEEK
There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. Suddenly he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming toward his boat. As he looks back he sees the shark turn and heads towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He's scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"
In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?"
Aghast with confusion and knowing he can't lie the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?"
The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again.
As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of a sudden the shark stops and pulls back.
Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head and before it takes a bit makes the blessing, "Baruch Ata Hashem…
Let's show a little appreciation for smokers. If it wasn't for them, it would have been many years until we could have charged our phones in cars.
How do you show your appreciation towards black holes? Thanks for nothing!
How do generals show their gratitude to their troops? They give tanks.
Q: What was the seamstress thankful for on Thanksgiving?
A: Sew much.
Q: How do you show bananas your gratitude?
A: By saying "thanks a bunch!"
Q: How do hot dogs say thank you?
A: Franks a lot!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
I don't understand people who say, "I don't know how to thank you!" Like they've never heard of money.
Thank you student loans for getting me through university...I don't think I could ever repay you (and now I don't have too!)
A preacher went to visit a member of the community and invited him to come to church Sunday morning. It seems that this man was a producer of fine peach brandy, and told the preacher that he would attend his church if the pastor would drink some of his brandy and admit doing so in front of his congregation. The preacher agreed and drank up.
Sunday morning the man visited the church. The preacher recognized the man from the pulpit and said: "I see Mr. Johnson is here with us this morning. I want to thank him publicly for his hospitality this week and especially for the peaches he gave me and the spirit in which they were given."
A religious man was thinking about how good his wife was to him, so he prayed to god to give thanks. To the man's astonishment, the booming voice of Hashem spoke to him.
Man: Hashem I'm so grateful that you gave me my wife. If I may ask, why did you make her so beautiful?
Hashem: I made her so beautiful so that you could love her, my son.
Man: And why did you make her so kind-hearted?
Hashem: I made as such so that you could love her, my son.
Man: And God, did you make her such an amazing cook?
Hashem:I blessed her with the talent of cooking so that you could love her, my son.
Man: Thank you, Lord, but forgive me but I must ask one more question. Why, God, did you make her so dumb?
Hashem: I made her dumb, my son, so that she could Love you.
