| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE COLLEGE CAMPUS MEMES OF THE WEEK Columbia University School of Palestinian Victimhood Motto: Ignorantia Veritas Sponsored by the Goebbels Institute, Tehran No previous knowledge of Middle East required Course Fee: 25,000 Dollars paid in any form of used notes at any branch of the Bank of Qatar. Reduction for Jewish Students Module One Albanese theory Length: 7 Minutes Learn how to insert the words "Occupied Palestinian Territory" at least twice into every sentence. Module Two Beating Israeli Hasbara Length: 2 Minutes Learn how to stick your fingers in your ears and sing la la la very loudly. Module three The Guiteres Method Length : 8 Minutes This will teach you how to tweet about how terrible the Gaza war is without doing anything about it. Module Four Learn Palestinian Length 30 Minutes This will teach you the new definition of old words. How to use the words "Occupation" "Genocide" and "refugee" and more. No previous knowledge of English required. Module Five International Law Length:12 Minutes Learn how everything that Israel does is in breach of International Law. No previous knowledge of Law is required for this Module. Module Six Zionism as a threat to world Peace Length: a Half hour including coffee This module is voluntary and is for those students considering a career in the United Nations. Field Trip Sponsored By the UNWRA A practical course in Tunnel building taught by a visiting Professor of Engineering from the University of Gaza. Bring your own hostage and packed lunch. Module Seven History of the Middle East Length: 4 years This is an optional module and not required to be offered a professorship at Columbia University It's almost as if kids on Tik Tok forgot that they were bopping last year to a Miami Boys Choir song called Yerushalayim… Columbia Day Camp Song of the Year Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda, Here I am at Camp Intifada. Camp is very instigating. And they say the quad sprinkler will stop raining. The tuition is so pricey. To attend a poison "Ivy" You remember Ilhan's daughter She's no homeless for defending Jewish slaughter All the comrades hate the Zios Who hate pronouns in their bios And we want to charm the Houthis So we hold hands and chant "Death to the Yahudis" I've made new friends Who are less white And my Hebrew Is now left-right And when Jew kids Start to roll in We demand that they all go back to Poland Let me stay of Muddah Fadda Globalize the intifada Don't bring me back to the suburb camp Cancel my tuition for next year Let me stay I'll proudly wear my Kefiyiyaa And loudly shout Death to America" I know everything to say I've been here one whole day… Dearest Father, Darling Mother, I'll stay one way Or another You paid thousands To this college. So our camp could make the Janitor a hostage. Wait a minute Cops are coming We're uprising They are stunning Kindly send some food and water Mother, Father I'm expelled from your Alma Matta As you know most of the encampments at UCLA have been torn down and there are still some survivors. We desperately need Humanitarian Aid. We need water bottles, we need vegan free food, we need gluten free bagels and banana free bananas if you have them. We need first aid kits. We need. We need enriched Uranium if anyone has them, that would be super helpful. We need weapons grade Plutonium. A free range rocket launcher. We need a rocket launcher. If anyone has those old SS uniforms from the forties we need those. We need wheelchair accessible paragliders for some of our disabled comrades. Oh..Guard Towers.. We need those. If anyone has been to Poland and can get us some of those that would be great…We're still fighting the good fight here on the front lines. Not discouraged. Probably a few weeks away from freeing Palestine. Upp I gotta go now and get back to my ethics class… It's fascinating that the protest of an occupation is done via occupation by those that don't have an occupation… The correct pronouns for the students at Columbia are Herr and Himmler. The Gaza Health Ministry has confirmed that the NYPD has arrested 17,851 people at Coulmbia University. 22,000 of them are innocent women and children. Screaming "We are Hamas" as you take over a building at Columbia and then accusing the university of "starving" you for not catering to your hate fest is literally the most Hamas thing outside of Gaza. I told my three year old yesterday to stop acting like an Ivy League student. The weather at Columbia today is cloudy with a chance of 1938 Germany. Columbia is doing an immercie experience so that students can relate to Anne Frank on a visceral level. Jewish students are taking classes remotely in their attics. A Keffiyeh on an American College is just a hipster swastika.
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