RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE SEASONS JOKES OF THE WEEK The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best… Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful. And Chanuka!! Everyone loves Chanuka!" Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!" Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Swimming Pools, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn, what do you have to offer?" Autumn ~ *-leaves-* There’s 5 seasons that exists. Winter, Summer, Autumn, Spring, and Tax Season (in Israel there's election season as well…) What is similar about Xmas and tornado season? You have a tree in your living room. What kind of car runs on leaves? An autumn-mobile! My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it. I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons. There were 4 henchmen: Winter, Summer, Spring, and Autumn. The boss stood before them. "Winter," he began. "I need you to stay cool in the face of pressure. Ice in your veins," he said, patting his shoulder. "Then there's you, Summer," he continued. "If the heat becomes too much for Winter, use that hot temper of yours to make sure the cops remember who they're working for. "As for you, Spring," he chuckled, "this operation is gonna bring in a lotta *green.* Make sure that it keeps growing." He turned for the door as Autumn stood up. "Boss!" he sputtered. "What about me?" The boss turned back, shaking his head. "Sorry, son. You're just the Fall guy." Who changes the season when Summer is over? No one, it happens Autumnatically. Some seasons are cold. And summer hot Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. In what season did Isaac Newton discover gravity? Fall Fabritzi, Jacques, and Abe are about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. Fabritzi asks for a Pepperoni Pizza which he is served. He is then executed. Jacques asks for a Filet Mignon which he is served. He too is then promptly executed. Abe requests a plate of strawberries. "Strawberries?" "Yes," replies Abe, "strawberries." "But they are out of season." "So, nu, I'll wait. Stalin approaches a farmer and asks: "Comrade, how many potatoes have we grown this season?" "Enough to reach God, Comrade Stalin!" replied the farmer. "But there is no God" said Stalin "Ah," said the farmer, "as there are no potatoes."
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