RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE JEWISH MATH JOKES OF THE WEEK Little Berel tells his teacher he is fast at math. So his teacher asks him "Ok. Then what is 2132 * 326?" Berel quickly said "371" The teacher looked at him and said "That's not even close" Berel responded "Yes, but it was fast" New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. Ever since I retired from being a math teacher, my whole life has been… dealing with the aftermath.
What did the triangle say to the circle? "You're pointless."
What's a math teacher's favorite kind of tree? Geometry.
Parallel lines have so much in common … It's a shame they'll never meet.
What do you call more than one L? A parallel!
Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school? Because she sprained her angle.
I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.
Did you hear about the over-educated circle? It has 360°!
What shape is usually waiting for you inside a Starbucks? A line.
Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven? The directions said, "Put it in the oven at 180°".
Why was math class so long? The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor? The teacher told him not to use the tables.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What tool is best suited for math? Multi-pliers.
Why did the girl wear glasses during math class? It improved di-vision.
What's a swimmer's favorite kind of math? Dive-ision!
Do you know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren't divisible by two.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine!
A talking sheepdog rounds up all the sheep into the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says, "Okay, Chief — all 40 sheep accounted for".
The farmer says, "But I've counted them and I've only got 36!" The sheepdog replies, "I know, but I rounded them up." I hired an odd man to do eight jobs for me. When I got back, he'd only done jobs one, three, five, and seven.
There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't.
Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents!
Why did the two fours skip lunch? They already eight!
How do you make seven an even number? Remove the S.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator… But only a fraction would understand.
What's a math teacher's favorite season? SUMmer!
Why is math considered to be codependent? It relies on others to solve its problems.
What math problem do German students have trouble answering? Do you know what the square root of 81 is? 9!
A research says that 75% of the people are good at Math. I am probably the remaining 35%
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