RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE HOMEWORK JOKES OF THE WEEK Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. If school isn't a place to sleep then home isn't a place to study
.Teacher says to little Mary, "I want you draw a picture of a house" Little Mary says "That must be my HOMEwork" Yankel came to cheder all puzzled and said to his teacher "Rebbi will I get into trouble for something I haven't done?" He said "No, why?" Yankel said " Because I haven't done my homework." My daughter was doing her homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo. I, proudly and confidently, told her that he was just a poor boy from a poor family. (If you don't get this… you need to rhapsodize a bit…)
Hey, Berel! You think your teacher knows that I help you with homework?
I think she does, mom! She said it was impossible to get so many wrong answers on my own. Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight.
Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President. I always put my glasses on when doing Math homework. It improves division
"Dad, can you help me with my homework?"
"Sure son" "What are 5 mammals that live in the ocean?" "3 whales and two dolphins" "Thanks dad" "Anytime" Me: Do you want help with your homework?
Son: No you make it worse Me: I do not! Son: ok what's a "naysayer" Me: Easy. That is a horse Little Ahmed is doing his anatomy homework.
He comes upon a question: "What separates the head from the body?" Ahmed answers: "The axe" Russia's Three Steps to Homework
Step 1. Putin it off Step 2. Stalin Step 3. Russian to finish FROM a Real Letter to God Homework assignment
Dear God, Did you mean the giraffe to look like that or was it a mistake?
Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now? Dear God, Who drew the lines around the countries? Dear God, Thanks for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. Dear God, It rained during our whole holiday and my father was so mad he said some things about you that he shouldn't have. Please don't hurt him. Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Dear God, If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Levy, because I hate her. Dear God, I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. Dear God, I think about you sometimes, even when I'm not praying. Dear God, I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it. Dear God, Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best. Dear God, I read Thomas Edison made light. But in Hebrew school, I learned that you did it. I bet he stole your idea. Dear God, I don't think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already. Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother |
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