Get to Heaven Keep the Seven

Everybody wants spirituality. To be a good person means to walk in G-d's ways. How does that translate to reality? The only guidebook to spirituality that has stood the test of time is the Hebrew Bible. The Bible says that the Jews will be a light onto the nations. But if you are not a born Jew, you have to convert, which is not so easy!! If you do convert, it is a lot of work to be a Jew (three times a day prayer, keeping kosher, observing the Sabbath).

This blog will show you how to be Jewish without the work!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The Fesitval of Light in Jerusalem 2016

Rabbi Yehuda Lave from Jerusalem
Learn From Role Models

When your first reaction is not to take the action that you really want to do, ask yourself, "Who do I know has a positive attitude about taking action? Now let me borrow his mind, as it were. Let me borrow his brain in my own unique way." Make yourself feel the way you imagine he feels about the situation and task at hand.

On a screen in your mind, see this person taking action with zrizus. Now on the same screen, see yourself taking action in a similar way. Run through that picture over and over again.

Love Yehuda Lave

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The 2016 Festival of LIght in Jerusalem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWYKC0BOYss
Robert Kraft's 2016 commencemnt speech to the graduates

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/15506a136d40c484?projector=1
WATCH: Incredibly inspiring! Why a Female Arab Soldier Decided to Enlist in the IDF | United with Israel
http://goo.gl/7QzXfO

Dr. Harold Goldmeier
MY NEW BOOK AVAILABLE AT YOUR FAVORITE ON LINE STORE
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My friend from the Kosher Sushi store said I don't have enough jokes on lately so here are some, but the jokes are not that kosher, just jokes:

Assorted Humorous Ditties.

Dead Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed,"Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'

Pest Control

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

'Who are you?' he asked him.

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!'.

Marriage Humour
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'

------------------------- ------------------------- ------

Stress Reliever

Girl:
'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------- -----

Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
_________________________ _______

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
------------------------- ------------------------- ----------

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on' the wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied.. 'Your horse just phoned'

I'm not a proponent of recent creation (yes, I believe in creation, just not a recent one) but if you think about it, this discovery does a world of hurt to global warming...
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