Get to Heaven Keep the Seven

Everybody wants spirituality. To be a good person means to walk in G-d's ways. How does that translate to reality? The only guidebook to spirituality that has stood the test of time is the Hebrew Bible. The Bible says that the Jews will be a light onto the nations. But if you are not a born Jew, you have to convert, which is not so easy!! If you do convert, it is a lot of work to be a Jew (three times a day prayer, keeping kosher, observing the Sabbath).

This blog will show you how to be Jewish without the work!!

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Check your eligibility to vote on Sept 17th and find out where to vote by calling this number and Watch rare footage of people at the Wailing Wall chanting verses from "Eicha" more than 100 years ago. Also Abbas: We Reject Any US Decision Related to Us and Aish jokes about reasons to get married

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Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor

Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works  with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money,  and spiritual engagement

Love Yehuda Lave

Check your eligibility to vote and find out where to by calling this number 1-800-222-290

Press 5 for English. Then you put in your Tudut number and confirm. Then they want the date your Tudot was issued (it is on the Tudot, so you have to have it to see the date). Then they tell you if you are confirmed and the address or name of your polling place.

That simple. Be sure you are able to vote on the 17th

Avraham asked his trustworthy servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for Isaac.

 Eliezer journeys to Aram Naharayim, taking ten camels with him. Upon approaching the town, he neared a well and prayed to God:

"Let it come to pass that the maiden to whom I shall say: 'Incline your pitcher that I may drink,' and she shall say, 'Drink and I will give your camels to drink also,' she you have appointed for your servant, for Isaac; and thereby shall I know that you have shown kindness to my master" (Gen. 24:14).

Eliezer, the devoted servant of Avraham, had learned from his great master to appreciate the profound significance of helping others. Chesed is not merely a kind act, but a manifestation of one's belief in God. Doing chesed is an act of emulating Him whose kindness is without bounds.

Eliezer realized that the woman who would be deemed worthy of becoming a mother of the Jewish people must be the paragon of chesed. He therefore fashioned an appropriate test for determining the bride of Isaac to find someone who loved to do chesed, to help others and try to save them from bother under all circumstances.

And what happened? Rivka ran of her own volition to water the ten thirsty camels - an act which she was not even asked to perform. This act of chesed indicated that she was worthy of being Avraham's daughter-in-law. Remember to look for kindness in choosing a spouse!

Love Yehuda Lave

Abbas: We Reject Any US Decision Related to Us

The PA's Wafa news agency has reported that Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas,  told a visiting delegation of US Congressmen yesterday that he rejects any "American diktats and decisions related to Jerusalem, refugees, borders, and security"

The delegation is being led by Steny Hoyer, the leader of the Democratic majority in the House of Representatives. On August 4th, Hoyer's office announced that he will be leaving with 41 Democrats in the US House of Representatives to meet with meeting with Israeli and Palestinian officials with Israeli and Palestinian officials.

Abbas also claimed that Israel had failed to respect the "signed bilateral agreements" and "insisted on destroying them". According to Abbas, this has prompted him to terminate the implementation of all current agreements with Israel, and is threatening to terminate any previously made agreements with the Jewish State.

According to Wafa, Abbas also told the Congressmen that he only supports a two-state solution. The members of Congress expressed their total support for the two-state solution and the achievement of peace

Tu B'Av was here a couple of weeks ago – the Jewish holiday of love, and that means it's time for singles to get married. By comedian and Rabbi Jerusalem's David Kilimnick

Tu B'Av was here --the Jewish holiday of love and you know what that means? Time for  single people to meet our spouses. Why? Do you really need me to answer that? Okay, here's why:

Married People Invite You and Feed You

Single people invite you for dinner, and then they invite you to bring the food. "You are coming? Maybe you want to bring the kugel… A little extra chicken and brisket. We're not inviting you for nothing." But married people actually cook for you. And they even have chairs.

Too Old to be an Uncle

I can't go to little league baseball games anymore. I am too old and single. I can't be a candy man in shul either. It's creepy. But get married and i won't get accused of being a scary old guy when I show up to the jungle gym.

Don't Have to Sit at the Kids Table

I don't know how this works. I guess they think 8 year olds and 40 year olds are all single so we should sit together. I personally don't like talking about slime, but I do like chicken fingers.

You Can Wear A Tallit Shawl & Head Covering

Women with no head covering and men with no prayer shawl at shul are branded as losers. People in shul are staring at you when you don't have a Tallit on. Suddenly you get married and you can wear the secret uniform, no questions asked.

Somebody to Scream At

There is so much frustration in daily life. When you are not married, you have nobody to scream at.

Somebody to Complain To

If you get married, you will need somebody to complain to. Marriage is tough. Your spouse is the perfect person to complain to about that.

Have Kids

The next generation of you. You are awesome. Clones of you should be in this world.

Not Get Old Alone

Who is going to take care of you when you get old? If you are not married or with kids, the answer is: nobody. You got no kids and you are watching TV, you're stuck having to get up to get the ice and the remote control yourself. Having kids will help you stay stationary.

You Need a Reason for a Minivan

To be a good Jew, you need at least one minivan in the driveway. If you have a minivan and you are single, it doesn't look right. You will be on the terror watch list.

You Save Money

Now you can get the family membership package. All memberships at Jewish community centers and shuls goes down when you put the word "family" in there. That's why you never want to say you are a couple. There are no discounts for that.

You Will Be Able To Put Down the Mortgage

Marriage is a financial decision and I am looking for somebody who can cover a whole down-payment. Forget romance, I am a dollars and cents guy.

You Never Have to Hear the "You Are Only Half a Person" Speech

You will feel like you are an actual person at engagement parties, where they give the speech about how people are not people before they meet. When single, they say you're only half a person. They do this looking right at you, the single person in the corner, who is sitting there with no head covering or prayer shawl. The speech continues with celebration in your not being a whole person, when they say that "once Karen and Michael got married, they became a person." Karen and Michael are happy, finally. You are not.

You Can Enjoy the Holidays

You don't have to worry about looking good anymore. You can just eat. You can be a Jew and eat at every Simcha party and every holiday. You will never have to start a diet again and worry that Shabbat will kill it. You will never have to diet. Your weight will always be Shabbos weight, and you have somebody that has to learn to love that.

Sharing Milk

If you ever had a roommate and they took your milk, you would understand what I'm talking about. You get married and the milk is naturally shared. That is how "peace in the house" is created, with shared milk that you own together. I can't tell you how many times I shared milk with roommates in the past, and how fast I had to drink it to make sure I got more than them.

Reason for A Freezer

The center of any good religious household. The freezer. Not just one but two freezers. The more religious you are, the more freezers. You see a future of little kids and you cook for it. When you have eight kids, you will never have time to cook. You discuss how many kids you plan to have over the next ten years and cook for that.

Decent Food for Dinner

For some reason, once you get married somebody starts cooking every night. When you're single you are living off peanut butter and Wacky Mac. I can't explain it but once you're married and somebody else is in your life, there's freshly cooked food every night. Baked cookies somehow appear. Either that or food that was cooked at some point and placed in the freezer is continually thawed out for your enjoyment.

Maybe this is why Jewish people get married. They just want to eat a normal dinner.

Isaac Mozeson We have around 50,000 English words in our E-Word digital dictionary. I'm just using this opportunity to colorize our list of the easiest 1000. 49,000 of our English words will have shifts of letters within the anatomical groups, shifts of placement order in the root ( metathesis) or added N/M to the root (nasaliztion) . These were well hidden, until The End of Days and the Edenics Project came along.

Isaac Mozeson The universal Menorah of 7 letter-sounds designed for human speech hardware. HaShem knew that the Human Language Program factory- installed into Adam would be diversified at Shinar/Sumer/Babel. Knowing what Man will do is NOT controlling what they do. (Primitive Idolators confuse the Eternal and mortals.) Mortals are stuck in the linear hologram of time. HaShem isn't. That's why He's the Eternal.... This language thing is a beautiful gift. Please use it wisely.

And now a little bit of Hebrew:

 

Below are some expressions with the Hebrew words פה andעין 

  • ​By heart - בעל פה - 'BE'AL PEH'  
  • In spite of... - אף על פי - 'AF AL PEE'  
  • Completely full - מלא מפה לפה - 'MALEH MIPEH LAPEH'  
  • Word of mouth - מפה לאוזן - 'MIPEH LE'OZEN'

 

  • ​May the evil eye not affect... - בלי עין הרע - 'BLI AYIN HA'RA' 
  • Tete a tete - בארבע עיניים - 'BE'ARBA EINAYIM'
  • Generously - בעין יפה -  'BE'AYIN YAFAH' 

 

Watch a rare footage of people at the Wailing Wall chanting verses from "Eicha" more than 100 years ago. 

See you tomorrow

Love Yehuda Lave

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

PO Box 7335, Rehavia Jerusalem 9107202

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