| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE IRAN WAR JOKES OF THE WEEK If the was keeps taking out murderous Iranian political and security leadership I am concerned that there will be no one left as a suitable candidate to lead the United Nations Human Rights Council It's enough already. This morning I blessed she'kocho bi'gvuroso malei olam. I can't stop crying. They took out Ali Khammeini and then Ali Larigani, I'm terrified who's next Ali Express…? In High school in Israel they give you choice of a third language to learn. Most of my class chose French because they wanted to travel to Paris. I'm the only one that chose Arabic. And not what's funny is that I'm the only one that can get around there today… Rosh Chodesh reminder from my grandson's gan- tomorrow please remember that it is Rosh Chodesh and all the children should come to the shelter in white pajamas. My friend switched his phone back to a second generation phone in order not to get any more annoying warnings. Instead he received a text that he is in proximity of a validated sick person and needs to go into isolation. For anyone with a Kosher phone that could not experience the Iranian hack on Yeshiva World News they have set up a special call in line on Kol Ha'Lashon for you. Iranian man sends message to the Mossad- Just so you know my mother-in-law is a nuclear scientist. It's interesting how many times a night I tell my neighbors have a good night… Tips for Israelis- How to tell if the noise you're hearing is not a missile being shot down but rather thunder. If the sound you heard on your phone a minute ago didn't give you a heart attack with it's endless screeching. It's thunder. Israel just hit Iran's Oil stockpile. Great now we're going to have another holiday revolving around oil… If we're anyways losing sleep at night already. Let's just switch the clocks to Daylight savings and be done with it… Hilchos Miklat: One who hears a siren shall go to a miklat. In a house that has a mamad, one may go to the mamad. Some say: a miklat is preferred. Others say: the difference is negligible. When should one go to a miklat? When the siren goes off. Rabbi Yehuda says, when you hear the pre-alert. Rabbi Eliezer says, if the miklat is near, one may wait until the siren is audible from an open window. The Chachamim say, even a closed window. One who enters a miklat and hears a boom is yotzei. One who hears a boom before [one is in the miklat] is not yotzei. The chachamim say: one who hears a boom before and after [entering the miklat] is yotzei. One who hears a boom [while in the miklat] and leaves and hears a boom [outside the miklat] is not yotzei, because the second boom was a sakana. The talmidim of Rava would leave the miklat only after the [notification saying the] event ended. They asked them: Isn't waiting ten minutes enough? They responded: we follow Rabbi Yehuda [that interpreted "and you shall live by them" - and not die by them]. Rambam: It is permitted to leave the miklat 6 minutes after hearing the latest boom, and one who leaves earlier is a Shoteh. Shulchan Aruch paskens like the rambam but the Rama writes that we wait 10 minutes. Mishnah berura says that of course if an "event ended" notification is received one is permitted to leave, even if booms are still audible, since you can hear them from far away. And even if the notification is received by only one of many miklat dwellers, one can still leave, since cell phone service is often spotty in miklat and therefore we can rely on even the minority.
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