Get to Heaven Keep the Seven

Everybody wants spirituality. To be a good person means to walk in G-d's ways. How does that translate to reality? The only guidebook to spirituality that has stood the test of time is the Hebrew Bible. The Bible says that the Jews will be a light onto the nations. But if you are not a born Jew, you have to convert, which is not so easy!! If you do convert, it is a lot of work to be a Jew (three times a day prayer, keeping kosher, observing the Sabbath).

This blog will show you how to be Jewish without the work!!

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Puns are us

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Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor

Feel Secure in Your Value

A king arose in the middle of the night and fixed the wick of a lamp to prevent it from extinguishing. His subjects asked him, "Why did you not ask us to do it?"

"I was the king when I arose, and I was still the king when I went back to sleep," he replied.

The lesson: Someone who is aware of his value does not worry about losing it.

Love Yehuda Lave


A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READs:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
"Blind man driving."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.  However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills."

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."


Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
                  "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

"Oilfield Dodge" Promotional Film 1920s Dodge Brothers Wild Ride

1920s vintage Dodge Brothers sedan drives down muddy roads and across muddy fields to get to the gushing oil well. For some strange reason the car has "Oil Field Dodge" painted on the side. This may be a company promotional video but it does not make driving look like any fun. The music is a stock YouTube

From my friend Linda Simmons Blog "Dance for Joy"

Shalom dear ones!

Blog 38 – Expressions of love is posted at www.dance4joyJerusalem.com

As spring brings summer, I hope your days are warmed with friends' love, health and healthy choices, and some well-advised risk taking into new arenas.

 

כל טוב

לינדה

 

Blog about Austria

I noticed you mentioned https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austria in your post, and just wanted to give you a heads up that I recently wrote a blog post you might like. It's a detailed, up-to-date 7,000 word guide on the 100 best things to do in Austria and is packed with detailed tips and advice. 
If this is something you'd be interested in, here is the link to the blog post: https://www.jenreviews.com/best-things-to-do-in-austria/

Jackie Mason in Canada

See you tomorrow

Love Yehuda Lave

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

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